Embracing Uncertainty
Sometimes life turns upside down. And then sometimes it turns you upside down, shakes out your spare keys, then goes to your home and pees on all the furniture.
I moved out an apartment and down the coast two hours to be closer to my Twin. It was my first time renting a house all on my own (having done so together with previous roommate Beach Mermaid), and I was very excited for this new transition. It was smaller than my apartment, but it was in a quiet neighborhood and there were four walls of blissful silence all my own...until it wasn’t. I ended up moving out after only 6 months because of issues I won’t go into here.
But even though I was disappointed (and financially groaning), I brushed myself off, and with the help of family and friends, moved my stuff into a storage unit and set up temporary base in my Twin’s spare bedroom. She and her husband were kind enough to let me crash with them in exchange for entertainm-er, help with household chores, dog sitting, and deck deconstruction.
At this point I’ve been here three months. Most of that time has been spent either working or checking out houses and running away from most of said houses or getting them snatched out from under me when I decide I do want to rent. A familiar story to most everyone looking in this American housing market.
And then this past Wednesday rolled into my life.
I suspected something was up when I received an email from my manager. ‘Hey CJ can you pick a time for us to chat?’ Now that might not be suspicious for most managers. But since I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had a meeting with this manager, I sensed big changes a-comin. Especially when the response to my ‘of course, here’s a list of times I’m available. What can I do to prepare for our session?’ was greeted with only an automated meeting invite.
So there I sat in an online meeting, everyone’s cameras off, with the sudden and unexpected addition of the head of HR in attendance. You will not be surprised, dear fiends, to find that I and the rest of the team I worked with were politely informed we wouldn’t get our contracts renewed.
To be honest, it still came as a shock even though I had my suspicions. Losing a job is difficult in part because you have so many decisions to make. Where do you go next? Do you use your contacts to discover any open positions at companies you’ve already made connections? Do you foist yourself onto the open market of Indeed and LinkedIn? Perhaps you decide to leave your current field and try another only to endure minimum pay until you work your way up the ranks—if you ever do. All this becomes doubly difficult when you’re the sole income earner for your household.
Luckily, I ended up having a pre-scheduled coaching session with Angela Schenk that afternoon. Having someone’s calm, outside perspective was very helpful even though I still needed to sit with my emotions and fears for a few more days. She helped me reframe being let go as an opportunity—unlooked for thought it was—to turn my soul ship in a more aligned direction.
Did I like my current job?
Nope.
Did I have a future goal of doing something else? Something that truly excited me?
Yes!
So take this opportunity to push for it.
...okay T.T
To help facilitate this new life direction, I’ve crafted a three-month plan. For three months I’ll focus on three main areas. One, I’ll search for and get hired for a part time job in my current field. That will bring in at least a little money so that I’m not draining savings. Two, I’ll focus on building up my editing business into something I can live on either part or full time. Three, squish all spending to only bare essentials so that I’m living on my last paycheck for three months. Hopefully, any money I get for my part time work can be pushed into either savings or unexpected needs that crop up. And, let’s be honest, a few ‘my life is scary and I want to play and not think about it’ purchases.
It's a pretty straightforward plan. And as scary as it is not to have official housing, it’s also kinda a blessing in disguise. No rent payment means minimal personal expenses. I plan to do some hopping between my Twin’s house and my parents (or other friends if needed) to keep from overstaying my welcome at any one place while I focus on job hunting and bringing in new clients.
I had a few other options I discussed with my coach such as jumping back into full-time employment or simply jumping into full-time editing. But this hybrid approach is what currently works best for me at this particular phase in my life. And regardless of whether this works out exactly as planned, I’m proud of myself for trying something new and pursuing a long term goal during an unplanned life change.
Will I succeed? I dunno, fiends. But even if the answer’s no, the confidence and experience I’ll gain trying something new will give me direction for my next phase.
Wish me luck, fiends!
This was almost the title picture for this post.
I felt a great kinship to this partridge bobbling along just doing its own thing while out on a limb.