Introversion Series - Organizing My Space
This post is the first in a series I’ve decided to write on Introversion. But first, some definitions. I am using the term introvert to define an individual as someone who receives energy from being alone. This is on the opposite end of the spectrum of an extrovert who receives energy from interacting with other people. As an introvert I have friends who I dearly love and love to be around. But at the end of the day (or perhaps, in the early afternoon) I need to step away and seclude myself. Why? Because interacting with people takes energy away from me. The better I like someone and the more I feel validated by that person the less energy they tend to take from me. But it still drains me. Every time.
I needn’t say one side of the scale is better than the other because I know you aren’t that silly. It’s simply different. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.
Because I am an introvert, I am naturally very interested in how that aspect of my personality affects the way I interact with the world and the people within it. Therefore, I decided ‘why not blog about it?’ But what to talk about first? I decided to start with how I interact with the physical space around me. Why? Because it’s always one of the biggest open tabs in my brain, fiends.
Tidying as an Introvert
I love to tidy. I love to declutter. I love to organize! Fiends, it came as a surprise to me to find that some people hate it. I never considered it as a talent or love (though it is both) because I came to it later in life. Therefore, I assumed everyone else who couldn’t or didn’t like to organize simply hadn’t gone through their ‘awakening’ yet.
As the tidying nerd that I am, I’ve begun sussing out several tidying podcasts to listen to. Formerly for keeping me sane during my work and now to accompany me during my walks and chores. It was only listening to A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White that I realized some people don’t like tidying. Not only do they not like tidying, but they never will. This in turn led me to realize that there would be different ways to tidy depending on whether or not you enjoyed it.
Fiends, this blew my mind.
It should not have blown my mind as this is a logical extension of other life skills and issues, but it surely did regardless. We’ll chalk that up to the old ‘it’s hard to imagine outside of one’s own perspective’ and simply be glad I chose to research as I did.
A Slob Comes Clean discusses different ways to look at clutter. How you make it a logical puzzle rather than an emotional one. Because we will 1. Always find excuses to keep stuff we don’t need and 2. Always have emotions regarding those things! The human brain is crazy powerful.
Another podcaster, Cas Aarssen, was instrumental in teaching me that decluttering and organizing are two very different topics and each require different skills to master. Between the two, I honestly think I could start a business. But...I haven’t.
Why not, CJ? If you love tidying and organizing and people desperately want help tidying and organizing why not do it?
Honestly? I don’t know.
I can’t decide if I’m holding myself back because of fear (possible) or because I’m not ready to explore this avenue (also possible). Part of the reason is I don’t have the bandwidth to be in charge. As a single individual, all of my life decisions are mine. This is a lovely thing. At the same time, I never really have the option of leaning on someone else when something is difficult for me or confusing. This was only exacerbated by living alone for two years during covid. I’m learning how to utilize the skills of others now, but my ability to do so is still in its infancy. Not to mention there’s a limited people available for me to grab and use. So, starting another business branch makes me feel faint rather than excited. I’ve always been jealous of Megumi (Marie Kondo’s assistant). How amazing it must be put together cuckoo clocks and moving boxes around under the direction of a master tidier. All the while not having to focus on the direction the company is moving.
Working with people takes a lot of bandwidth for me. Most people don’t realize (or believe) I’m an introvert because I’m great at masking. I’m also really good at turning questions back on people so that they do most of the talking. But the thing is all that masking takes a lot of my energy spoons. Now moreso than previously. (Thanks covid.) If I had a partner who liked doing the front-facing stuff but needed help with the day-to-day tidying, it would be a dream come true.
But I digress.
Keeping my possessions organized is extremely important to me as an introvert. Again, why? Because I need alone time to recharge.
So CJ are you saying it doesn’t matter to extroverts how their houses look?
Of course not. What I am trying to say is my physical space directly impacts my mental and physical well being. If I’ve got laundry strewn across all the surfaces, I feel distracted and irritable. If the bathroom sink has toothpaste stains everywhere and the mirror is smudged, I start to avoid using it. If there’s a weird smell or a noise I can detect, it drives me insane.
Does this make me sensitive? Absolutely. Can I change that part of myself? Not at all. So, in order to get the most out of my time alone, I need to keep my space in order. The type of order is where different introverts differ. My friend Beach Mermaid has a large collection of mugs. This brings her joy in her space because she can have a different type of mug for every type of beverage her little heart desires. I, on the other hand, have precisely TWO mugs I use. They’re exact size I want for the amount of tea I can drink in a day. (My poor Twin has given up ever being able to use them.)
I use the top of two dressers to display a few possessions such as my clock, a little basket I like to look at, and a plant. They make a pleasing little triad on the top of one of the dressers. The other is a parking area for any projects I currently have going. Every few days I make a point of going through what’s on that second dresser because projects and trash accumulates. Once they accumulate, I grow anxious whenever I enter my bedroom.
This is a bad thing, fiends.
So I make a habit of going through and tidying up. Does this mean I never let things go? Nope. My Twin can attest to the mess that can pile up for a week or two. But the point isn’t perfection (gasp!) but to have a regular habit that makes my habitat livable and likeable.
There are two main downsides to this mindset:
I’m bothered when I see other disorganized spaces not under my control.
I organize when I’m stressed.
As I mentioned before, I am staying at my Twin’s and Gamer’s house while I job search (and eventually house search once more). Therefore, there are plenty of spaces that are not in my jurisdiction to organize. But just like other things in life we are not capable of changing, it always helps to focus on what I can. Garage disorganization bothering me? Take out the recycling. Kitchen a little cramped by new food items? Do the dishes. I can’t change the fact that I live with two other people, but I can keep up with my chores.
I also tend to organize when I’m stressed. Twin can attest on the day after I found out I was going to lose my job, she came back to newly organized kitchen drawers. You may be wondering why this counts as a downside. Mostly because it’s not my house. If someone came in and started rearranging your sock drawer because they were anxious, you might feel bad for them, but they’d probably catch hands for the intrusion all the same. Thankfully, my Twin is gracious AND I have developed a mostly accurate assessment of what is and what is not permissible to fiddle with. (When she reads this blog post, she may disagree with me. Stay tuned, fiends.) It is okay to rearrange the kitchen drawers because you’re not moving anything out that’s already contained inside them. It is NOT okay to throw away old hobby items. It is okay to reorganize the clutter in the workout room to acquire more usable floor space. It is NOT okay to organize Twin’s study materials.
Downsides can always be mitigated with the appropriate boundaries.
I’ll end this post with the encouragement to be actionable with your space. If you’re an introvert with space sensitivity like me, having a good handle on your space will only improve your life.
See you next time, fiends.